I invite you all to read this short story written by Blake Ashworth and listen to some dope music, enjoy. [If you didn’t read Part I you can find it here, M-AC Storytelling Presents: Sweet Seduction (Part 1)]
(Based on a true story)
My body beginning to crave the sweet liquid like a kid craves a chocolate bar. The clear pen traced the blue lines protruding from my cold dry skin. The syrupy liquid being pushed farther and farther into my already punctured veins. The pen being pulled out of my soft white skin while the crimson liquid begins to spill out of my body as if it was red wine being poured into a glass.
He must not have tied the tourniquet tight enough to my arm,I think to myself.
Am I going to die?
I had no idea how my body would react this time.
“He was right, the pain was only temporarily” I said to myself as my body became numb from the drug.
It seemed everything in the world had stopped. The pain, the suffering, the guilt- it had all gone away. And for that moment, I was at peace.
* * * * * * * * *
The following morning was terrible. The high was gone and now all the pain, suffering, and guilt were back.
I can’t believe I let him persuade me into thinking everything would be okay.I thought to myself.
I thought I had bettered myself and stopped believing in his lies. I always struggled with it because I always thought that this time was going to be different.
“But are they lies? What if he is telling the truth. Could what he is saying to me be true?
The promises of peace, and no suffering make me think that what he is telling me is the truth.
The temptation has returned, and I am scared to see what is next for me. What worries me the most is I have no idea when he will be back, and how I can stop him from getting what he wants. I think about how he has ruined my life. I was no different than any other young kid.
A young teenager growing up in such a world. I never thought that this would be the way my life would go. Never did I think my life could spiral out of control so quickly. Like most teenagers I had dreams and aspirations to make something out of my life. I wanted to be remembered.
He is the reason I am where I am today. He has made my life spiral out of control. I had so much to give to the people I loved, but they all turned their back on me…besides my mom. He tricked me into thinking that this is the life I wanted to live. That I wanted to give up the high of feeling alive and whole for the temporary high of some drug. He took advantage of my poor depressed soul and crushed it into a thousand pieces.
Later in the evening, as I began getting ready to go to bed I feel as if he is here. Even though I can’t see him I hear him muttering something under his breath.
“Do It. You need it.”
I ignore him. I sit down at my old rickety desk that I have had since I was a boy. My parents had gotten it for me for Christmas. The stained brown wood had aged well throughout the years. The smell of the aged cedar wood brought back the memories of me sitting in this very seat drawing, coloring, writing notes to my mom. I missed those days but more importantly I missed my mom. So, I sit down and begin to write a letter to my mom.
I want to thank you for everything you have given me even though I wasn’t always appreciative. You were always my rock and I thank you for doing everything in your power to help me. I do not deserve you and I will never be able to thank you enough. MOM, he is back. I thought this time we had beaten him for sure. I am here to tell you with deep regrets that I haven’t and I don’t think we will be successful this time. He is stronger than ever, the cravings, the guilt, the hurt, mom it is all back. I am tired of fighting an uphill battle. Mom, I am tired mentally and physically. I am sick. I am defeated. I love you mom.
I began folding up the letter and putting it into a plain white envelope. I hope she will understand. I have come to reason that I can’t keep hurting the one person that never left my side.
So, I lay in bed while my brain is racing a thousand miles a minute. I have come to peace with my fate instead of being nervous. This time it seems different. My room is quiet and everything is calm. I can hear him coming closer. I can feel his cold gaunt fingers caressing my face. My mind begins to slow as I knew what was coming next.
“Do it.” He whispers.