The Definitive Top 20 Spongebob Squarepants Episodes: Part II (10-1)

Ahoy, mateys! In case you missed my last article, I started counting down my top 20 Spongebob episodes, and you can check out 20-11 here. Today I’m gonna finish off the list and reveal my top 10 episodes. So, let’s dive right in!

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Continue reading “The Definitive Top 20 Spongebob Squarepants Episodes: Part II (10-1)”

Lob a Plasma Gernade For Me: The HALO Series. 

     Happy Christmas weekend everyone, I’ve been back into some serious Halo gaming on my Xbox One over the last few weeks. Love the franchise so much. Hard to believe it’s been around nearly 17 years.  I remember one of my first Black Friday shopping experiences was waiting in line at Best Buy to buy the first one for 20 bucks.  I played through the first game with one of my friends and I had developed infected tonsils near the end of the game.  We were both pretty excited to beat the game but I was running a fever and had missed work. That did not deture my friend Mike. He eventually showed up with a large coffee and we got back to it and eventually saved the galaxy.  Have you played and beat the first Halo? Man what an ending! 

     Eventually Halo 2 came along and it was the first deluxe game I had purchased. It came in a steel case which was a new idea at the time.  The game play had been ratcheted up to allow “dual weild” which was awesome.  Now Master Chief could carry two guns at the same time. Very badass.

     The best new feature of Halo 2 was the broading of the story and cast. The story for part 2 introduced us to the Arbiter. A Elite whom was stripped of his rank as a result of Master Chief’s success in the first game.  The whole story really dug into the extensive back story of the Covenant forces you’d been fighting against to give us their motivations and depth. Plus Energy Swords. Totally love Energy Swords.

     Halo 3 would come along and bring an end to the war between the Covenant and Humanity with Master Chief and his A.I. counter-part Cortana seemingly lost after the battle.  Folks who beat the game on Legendary, the hardest mode, or just watched someone else do it on YouTube knew the Chief had actually survived. 

    The franchise was growing now with  successful games, novels, comics, and toys. An Animated Anthology film called Halo Legends also came out. All giving us new characters and back story, building the Halo Universe.  

     New games were released that no longer starred  the main protagonist Master Cheif. HALO: ODST which was about the everyday troopers who weren’t Spartans and Halo Wars which was a strategy game featuring UNSC and Covenant forces. 

     The most successful of these games without Master Chief was Halo Reach. An astounding game that is often regarded as the best offering in the entire series. The game is a prequel to the series and takes place in the opening battle of the war with the Covenant on the outpost planet of Reach. You take the role of a new member of Noble Team, and elite Spartan fighting force. I’ve been replaying this game a bit lately and was surprised by how well it holds up and looks amazing  on the Xbox One console thanks to backwards capability. 

     Halo Reach would be the last game from series creators Bungie who would go onto make their own series of new games called Destiny.  Master Chief and Halo had become the face of Microsoft’s gaming platform and once Bungie was done Microsoft brought the franchise in house and 343 Studios took over. They delivered the awesome Halo 4 which dealt with a new threat to humanity, the Forerunners. Well actually it wasn’t all the Forrunners just the Didact and his crew of Promethean warriors. 

     Halo 5 Guardians has been the latest release in the series and while the multiplayer is a blast the Campaign mode is kind a meh. It’s 10 missions and you only get to be Master Chief for 3 of those. Mostly you are Spartan Locke played by Mike Colter of Luke Cage and Marvel’ s Defenders fame. For the most part your old buddy Cortana is now the big bad.  Hopefully Halo 6 will make up for 5’s story shortcomings. 

     Halo is alive and well after all this time. The community of fans is large. Microsoft named their personal assistant on their devices Cortana. Loot Crate now offers a bi-monthly Halo Crate which I’ve just subscribed too. Maybe I’ll do a review of that first crate when it arrives. Until then keep your shields up and ammo loaded and have a Merry Christmas. 

NFL 1st Team All-Badass (Offense Edition)

In the National Football League, you have great players, good players, O.K. players, and bad players, but my favorite type of players are the ones who will go out and hit you right in the mouth. This article is part one of a three-week series discussing a team just filled with the hardest hitting, trash talking, badasses to ever grace the league with their presence. Offensive players may have a hard time being seen as a badass, but when you are, you are and it is easy to see.

QB: Aaron Rodgers

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Love him or hate him, Aaron Rodgers deserves this spot on this list. Rodgers isn’t only an amazing QB, but has shown numerous times of his extreme “confidence”. Most notably is whenever the Packers kicked off their season 1-2 and fans were questioning Rodgers skill. He responded with famous response, “R-E-L-A-X”, and the fans were being “idiotic”. Now this may be considered a douche move, but common, its Aaron Rodgers, of course he is good. Rodgers also lets everybody know when he scores or throws a touchdown. I have always found Rodgers field antics to be in you face and funny as hell.

 

Half Back: Marshawn Lynch

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Honestly, is this a surprise to anybody? I sat here and tried to think of a person more badass than Marshawn Lynch. This guy is an extremely skilled running back with the loudest, most in your face attitude in the league. Lynch has a list of highlights and even more hilarious but savage moments off the field. (MUST WATCH)

The thing I love most about Lynch is his love for Skittles. His motivation to score besides winning is skittles. Every time he scores he gets a pack of Skittles. His love for skittles does not stop there. Lynch even has a huge skittle machine in his house in which you can pick whatever flavor you want. Aside from that Lynch is also one of those the guys that he does not care to let you know he just shit all over your defense. See highlight for examples.

Wide Receiver 1: Randy Moss 

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This is truly no surprise either. Randy Moss, in my opinion, is the best wideout to ever play the game. His breakaway speed, amazing hands, precise route running, and must win mentality. Those things right there did not earn this spot on the list, his ability to talk shit and play even bigger than his talk. Moss is the man and is a badass.

Wide Receiver 2: Chad Johnson (Ochocinco)

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We may not see a wideout more badass than Chad Johnson. Johnson has been asked if anybody could guard him in his prime, and responded, “Maybe, God”. Johnson would also look at their schedule, then write down the corner that would be guarding him, then once he went against them, he would cross them off (man was unguardable).

Let’s move away from the field now. Johnson is absolutely hilarious. He may be the best follow on Twitter. He is not shy to tell off people who have anything negative to say to him. Johnson is seen even more now than ever before, and he manages to make me laugh at how badass he is.

Slot Receiver: Terrell Owens

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Another undeniable badass. Owens is a crazy hated player, but he is good as hell. Every aspect of his game was fantastic. Owens seemed to have an impact on whatever team he was with. These three wide receivers were the easiest to put on the list, and you are going to have a hard time arguing with me.

While Owens was a fantastic football player, he was a badass with this crazy ego. The most badass moment of his career is when he scored against the Dallas Cowboys and ran to the center logo on the field to do his celebration. The only downside to Owens was his ego often ruined teams (Cough, cough, the amazing duo of him and McNab). Owens talked big and played even bigger.

Tight End: Rob Gronkowski 

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Another no-doubter. Gronk plays football the way its suppose to and is making a dying position relevant again. Gronk is a larger than life human being with great hands, speed, run blocking, and crisp routes. Guy, plays like a man possessed almost week in and week out.

Gronk is a very in your face player. He will talk shit to you and your team from dusk until dawn and back it up. He truly does not care if what he does is controversial or not. Gronk does what Gronk wants. This Gronk’s world and we just live in it.

Offensive Lineman: Mike Webster

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The oldest on this list by far, but maybe the most deserving. Unfortunately, he was not in our time of watching, but after hearing about him and watching his highlights, this another no-doubter. The man put the definition of badass on his back. I am not sure how he was off the field, but this man defines hard nose football.

 

I hope you enjoyed part one of the All-Badass series. Thank you for spending a part of your Friday with me, and as always stay tuned for more fresh and daily content from myself and the rest of the Mid American crew.

This story makes Jingle All The Way look like a cakewalk.

Hello people of the Internet, Jordan again with another post. Since I totally slacked last week, I’m here to keep my promise. Prepare for a pretty wild story about flaming cars and 2 and 1/2 hour tow truck rides. Buckle up kiddos. Continue reading “This story makes Jingle All The Way look like a cakewalk.”

The Definitive Top 20 Spongebob Squarepants Episodes: Part 1 (20-11)

At last, folks, this is the big one. Most people in my age range, that being the late teens to early 20s, were enraptured by Spongebob. I’d be willing to bet that in any high school classroom or on any college campus, if you uttered a Spongebob quote, people would rapidly utter subsequent quotes, ultimately reaching the point of a chain reaction of references to our childhoods. And this chain reaction would quickly reach critical mass.

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What I’m trying to say here is this: Spongebob is something held nearly and dearly to our hearts. Many of us can recite episodes essentially from start to finish without a second thought, and many of the hilarious moments peppered throughout the series are burned into our brains and will probably never escape. What does this all mean? Well, it means that ranking 20 episodes is going to be incredibly difficult. Will legendary episodes be left off? Probably. Will some episodes you weren’t too big on show up? Maybe. But, one thing is for certain: if you grew up watching Spongebob, some of your favorite cartoon moments will be highlighted in this list. Be forewarned: I’m personally partial to Season 1, so early episodes are gonna be abound. So, are ya ready kids? Here are my top 20-11 Spongebob episodes.

Continue reading “The Definitive Top 20 Spongebob Squarepants Episodes: Part 1 (20-11)”